Back in 2009, I had a drug-induced psychosis. I have been reflecting on it recently as I have been exploring ideas around psychosis and delusion in the psychedelic community (thanks to my recent interview with James Kent).

In reflecting on this I realized that this psychotic episode was also the launching pad for my first real spiritual awakening. In this video, I share the delusion I was suffering from during that psychosis.

Something very interesting I realised as I was reviewing this video before posting it: the philosophical nature of my psychotic delusion (derealization) has since become a foundational aspect of my philosophical understanding of reality: that the past and the future are illusory constructions existing within a larger illusory construction of external reality existing within a constantly present-tense greater Mind (Idealism). [i.e. I am Kurt Russel but Tom Cruise is God!… maybe I am sick after all?]

Had I not given myself (and been offered by others) the space to feel safe and normal in my philosophical exploration I may have ended up getting confused, frightened, and going off the rails far enough to never make it back to a normal life. Thank goodness for that.

Please help me continue to make videos like this one—as well as working full-time on my podcast and writing while affording this website, all hosting fees, tech upgrades/repairs, and the other general costs of being alive amidst capatlism—by becoming my patron on Patreon:
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