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***See below for a complete topic breakdown.***

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What is a conversation?

What is its value? How do we get better at it? What roles does it place in our relationships? How do we build the skills that keep us in healthy relationships with each other? What about conflict? These are some of the questions that inform this episode of Adventures Through The Mind, as we speak with Sara Ness.

Sara Ness for ATTMind Podcast on Conversation and Authentic RelatingSara Ness is the founder and CEO of Authentic Revolution. In 2012, at 20 years old, Sara founded still-ongoing learning communities in Austin and Houston that became two of the biggest AR groups in the world. She has gone on to work with tens of thousands of students in sectors from Google to Mindvalley to Burning Man. Sara’s publications – including The Authentic Relating Games Manual, the core text of the Authentic Relating field – have helped seed 100+ communities in every continent (except Antarctica…yet!) Sara is passionate about exposing the joy of human connection and exploring our creative potential through group process. She lives in community in Bastrop, Texas.

In this episode, we not only explore the relational depths and breadths that conversations can take us to, but also build our skills in conversation and building our skills in relation overlap with each other. We explore how play can help us develop and exercise those skills, specifically what are called Authentic Relating games. Furthermore, we also speak about how the possibilities of conversations can be both literally and phenomenologically psychedelic.


Check Out More of Sara’s Work

Authentic Revolution Home Page  
AR Courses | AR Games Manual | Practice AR Online
Sara Ness on Medium

Check out more podcasts on connection and relationships

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Episode Breakdown

  • What is a conversation? The levels of a conversation
  • Mindset context and its impact on meaning in conversation
  • Beyond the self; conversation and the boundaries of relationship
  • Conflict is not abuse
  • We are more than a single self; “No wonder conversations are so complicated”
  • The blurred line between what is conversation and what is relationship
  • Wounds from past relationships cloud our ability to see each other
  • Gaslighting and how do we determine if we are being gaslit?
  • Having conversations across polarization/ severe ideological differences; befriending the enemy
  • Meeting each other’s energy; navigating the levels of conversations
  • Conflict: what it is and how can we navigate it effectively
  • The value of conflict in relationship
  • The difference between conflict, fight, violence, power-over, and mutually empowered intense play
  • The value of listening
  • The 4 different relating languages (and how to determine them)
  • Games that teach us the skills we need to have healthy relationships; “authentic relating games”
  • What authentic relating games can offer us is similar to what psychedelic experiences can offer us
  • Accessing psychedelic experiences through authentic relating games; accessing shared flow state
  • Healing our nervous systems from the threat of slowing down
  • An authentic relating game for listeners to start with, “hot seat”
  • Not just about building skills, but building relationships too
  • Some follow-up links and content

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